Dear Drowning,
I hope this letter finds you well and you are getting some rest. First, I want you to know that you are not alone; many parents are struggling just like you. When three children are struggling with sleep at the same time, it can feel exhausting, discouraging, and overwhelming for the whole household. Sleep affects everyone’s moods, behavior and emotional regulation as well as your ability to show patience. The fact that you and your partner are trying to trade off and support one another shows how much you care, but it also makes sense that the constant “on call” schedule is leaving both of you drained.
Let’s start with what you know. Thinking about all three of your children separately, what do each of them need before they go to sleep at night? Bath? Milk? Snuggles with a certain parent or stuffed animal? Each child likely has their own preferences that if you take a step back, you could likely list. Next, start by creating a routine that you feel you have control over – is that one parent does all the baths while the other parent is cooking dinner? Is it having all of your clothes laid out by the early afternoon so that when chaos hits, it is one less thing to worry about? Divide and conquer is likely your best avenue. Once each child is ready for bed, determining what the best background noise for each child is also important – it could be lullaby music, an audio book or thunderstorms. Children do well when houses aren’t completely silent so I always recommend background noise.
Now let’s strategize a routine for you and your spouse. Block sleeping sounds like something that may work for you two. One parent gets to sleep for 5 to 6 consecutive hours (let’s say 8/9pm to 2am) while the other parent is on call for any children that wake up during that time. Then it switches and the other parent is now getting sleep from 2am to 7/8am while the other parent deals with any children waking up. This is especially helpful when children are very young. Eventually as the children get older, their sleep schedules will stretch to longer blocks.
If you have any concerns over their sleep schedules or any worrisome behaviors, please reach out to your child’s pediatrician for guidance. If you would like continued individual support or couple’s counseling, please feel free to schedule a consultation with Mrs. Melissa at Anchor the Soul Counseling’s contact page to schedule your consultation now: https://anchorthesoulcounseling.clientsecure.me/request/service
Sincerely,
Melissa J. Davis, MA, LPC, LCMHC
Owner, Anchor the Soul Counseling, PLLC.
Legal Disclaimer
This article is provided for general informational purposes only and is based on a hypothetical scenario. It should not be considered professional medical, legal, or employment advice. Mrs. Melissa is not responsible or liable for any decisions, actions, outcomes, or consequences that may result from using or relying on the information provided in this article. Anyone experiencing significant or ongoing anxiety should consider speaking with a qualified mental health professional. If you are in a current mental health crisis, please call 911 or seek your nearest emergency room.