Dear Desperate for space,
Thank you so much for writing this week. It sounds like you are struggling with the behavior of your neighbor and how it is affecting you mentally. Without knowing your neighbor, it sounds like she is relying on you for emotional and physical support and feels rejected when she is not receiving it. In order for her to express her discontentment, it sounds like she has lashed out at your child because she knows that is one way to hurt you.
Knowing that this is a pattern of behavior and you want to salvage the children’s relationship, I believe setting new boundaries is appropriate here. Instead of viewing her in a friendship sort of manner, think about her in a neighborly way. To do this, keep responses short and polite, do not disclose personal information and keep the focus on your children. When you have to decline an invitation to let the children hang out, sandwich it with “hopefully they can get together later this week or next week”. By giving her another day, the rejection of not being able to get together on that particular day will be lessoned. Also, if you notice that she is communicating in a negative manner, do not engage in it. This will help you from maintaining an emotionally fueled conversation.
If you would like to explore this topic more and develop strong boundaries, please reach out for a free consultation to see if therapy is a good option.
You are able to schedule a consultation at Anchor the Soul Counseling’s contact page:
https://anchorthesoulcounseling.clientsecure.me/request/service
Melissa J. Davis, MA, LPC, LCMHC
Owner, Anchor the Soul Counseling, PLLC.
Legal Disclaimer
This article is provided for general informational purposes only and is based on a hypothetical scenario. It should not be considered professional medical, legal, or employment advice. Mrs. Melissa is not responsible or liable for any decisions, actions, outcomes, or consequences that may result from using or relying on the information provided in this article. Anyone experiencing significant or ongoing anxiety should consider speaking with a qualified mental health professional. If you are in a current mental health crisis, please call 911 or seek your nearest emergency room.